that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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