The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
