I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize