i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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