He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
