I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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