STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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