I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
