Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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