if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
