When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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