I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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