i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
