Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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