I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
