remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
