Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
