so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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