hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
