she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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