i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
