Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
