In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
