Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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