it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
