ugly people sure do ruin things
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
