We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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