She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
