As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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