go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
