I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
