It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
