Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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