you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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