Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My vagina just recognized that song.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
