Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
