apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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