I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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