Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
