Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
