kristin has been a bad kristin
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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