I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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