Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my being single is dangerous.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
