her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
