he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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