Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
