So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
