I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
