I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
