Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
