Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
